October 20, 2011

Is Commander Bunny Stalking Me? Or Does He Want To Marry Me? Two Out of his Three Listeners Say, 'Yes!'

Pirate Radio News & Commentary
by John Poet

He sure seems to want everyone to know how infatuated he is with me. I'm truly touched by
all the wonderful cards, letters and automobile decals he's printed up to
shout out to the world,

  'Commander Bunny & Kracker Love
    Poet and The Crystal Ship!'

They've spent more money trying to court me than they've spent on their own psychotherapists!

So, seems that the recent package of Commander Murphy rabbit-droppings which was sent out
to various people was post-marked in Lansing, Michigan, where we all now surely know that I am...

(BTW, Commander: "Real pirates" as you call them, actually FILL OUT the data on their
"real" QSL cards-- they don't just send out BLANK QSLs without the reception data filled
   ---Unless, of course, you are sending them out blank because they are unsolicited,
because no one bothers to send reception reports to station ops who turn into stalkers and FCC snitches, anymore?  Tell, tell!)

As reported on the FRN:
Packages of Bunny Swill postmarked in Lansing, Michigan

Some listeners seem befuddled as to why the packages from 'Major Sockpuppet' should be
post-marked in Lansing. Well, let me clear up that mystery for you!

(Now, I wouldn't be telling you all this, if CB hadn't raised the subject by hauling those
packages along with him to be postmarked HERE--- expressly for MY benefit--- but since I am
now in a postion to answer your questions about that, answer I will DO!

I wouldn't want anyone to think that Commander or friends wasted all that gas just to get that 'Lansing, MI' postmark!   Thanks for bringing the subject up, Corporal Furrball!)

See, I guess I am supposed to find out about that, and somehow feel 'threatened'. Or
'loved', perhaps.  'Desired' ?  'Adored'?  I don't know. It does certainly prove that 'Jerry Rabbit' is doing all he can to try to get my attention. But sorry, no deal, Private Buttsteak!  Not enough!

Maybe,  you should buy me....   a new car!

It's possible that I might have felt threatened (if it's possible to feel threatened by a grown
man who wears bunnyfeet pajamas and adult diapers to bed), if I didn't already know all the
things that I already know:

1) that Capitan Murphy Lepus passes through Lansing, Michigan periodically,

2)  that he has been doing this since at least as early as 2007,

3)  where he is going to when he does pass through here, and

4)  why.

Don't worry, my sweet little 'Hassenpfeffer', I'm not going to tell everyone ALL the details. Not today, anyway.
If you're a good bunny and do like I say.

Here's some friendly advice, Pattycakes:

I wouldn't be setting up that Grenade up here any more  anywhere--
not even near large bodies of water, not even just south of Muskegon!

Not even north of it!
Or east of it!

(West might be a good possibility...)

See, the word is, the FCC has been active up here, looking for pirates! Perhaps you've not
heard. Besides... and now I'm being honest here, k sweetie? 

I want you to STAY THE F00K OUT of MY territory, capiche? 

You have 47 other continental states you can use for your broadcast roadtrips, and besides that, you smell bad when your diapers leak!

OK, ok, I know that "Sugar-Mama" probably doesn't own property or have relatives in all
those states-- but you'll just have to make other arrangements.

Maybe you should try Florida. I hear the weather is better there, and the Orlando hotels
have a special deal where you can use their wireless IPs for your sock-puppeting activities, all at no extra charge!  Then you can submit 'nasty' comments to peoples' blogs, OR try out your NEW SOCKPUPPETS on the FRN without people finding out its really YOU!

(Or you could just go to Harpers Ferry, I guess--- shorter drive and all--- but you've already done that once this month... right, 'Winston'?)

Sound good?  I Thought you'd like that!

COMING UP:  Commander Bunny's Apology for FRN Sock-Puppeting,
and how he claimed to get away with it

( Or--- HEAR IT on the TCS Shortwave Relay Network!  
NOW PLAYING on a Relay Station Near You! )

What, no funny pictures this time?  Well, here's one!


  1. Oh, lawlz... LEAVE POET ALLLOOONNNE!!! He's just a hooman bean! You are lucky he even performed for you BASTARDS!

    Anyone that has a problem with him you deal with me... okay, not me, because it's time for me to play my copy of Art Bell interviewing Pat Murphy... always puts me right to sleep... sooo soothing, sooo booorrrinnnggg.

    But you'll have to deal with... someone... let's see, there must be someone out there who gives a bunny's fanny about Funny Bunny's tantrums... someone... anyone... Bueller...?

    Nope, sorry, nobody cares.

    Can't wait for my new Guise Faux tribute fridge magnets and bumper stickers! Yay, famouse on the internet for 15 seconds!

  2. Apparently, Commander Murphy will not be ignored! Of course, the Snitch Puppet Keyboard Pounding King needs to remember what happened to the rabbit in "Fatal Attraction". ("Futile Attraction" in this case involving the spurned Loopy Lepus!)
    So, JP, you might want to leave a pot of water boiling on the stove,you know, just in case the Revolting Rabbit visits from his tick-infested Bunny Hole!!

  3. "Read it to me," I asked (as you know, my eyesight is not terribly good).

    Guise snapped another piccy, this one with his iPhone. He held the screen towards me and said "STOP Commander Bunny."

    "A very sensible plan," I said.

  4. Oh lordy. Commander Buttsteak has posted again...

    Guise, It appears that today you aren't Gayle anymore-- today you are Corq!

    Commander-- you really are adept at ferreting out all these landmines, and stepping squarely on them! It isn't someone else who is 'BUSTED' here-- it is YOU who are 'BUSTED', you who have fallen into a 'trap' by your response today--

    For you have just CONFIRMED that you are NOW in the business of systematically STALKING FEMALE DXers! (I have helpfully created another copy of your post, as I know how often you tend to lose things...)

    WELL done, you narcissistic charmer, you!

    (But I must confess, I am somewhat taken aback at the loss of your attention-- and I thought you loved ME! Fickle furry.)

    You aren't nearly as smart as you think. Lots of people contribute to Radio Paranoia--- lots of us are trading information constantly--- "so you think we don't talk?"

    That doesn't make us all 'Guise Faux'. It does, however, make you look pretty stupid--- yet again.

    P.S. Are you going to order 'fridge magnets and banners for all these people, too?

  5. Hay, guise, I need next weekend off. Who's the relief Faux for that weekend? We also need a temp Faux between 2100-2300 UTC on Hallows e'en, as I shall be leaving thereafter for Druid duty at rabbithenge.

  6. I get a warm and fuzzy feeling from being in such good company, Poet, since somehow this week the funny bunny (and someone using kracker's gmail acct) is *convinced* I'm Guise.

    This gets richer by the minute.

    I really wanted to be accused of being Pigmeat, but perhaps next week...

    Does this mean I'll get a frothy, salivating WBNY show in my honor? I hope so!


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