Return of the Sock-Puppets! ~OR~ The Many Sock-Puppets of Commander Bunny: Past, Present & Future ~OR~ Of Rats & Snitches & Sock-puppets & the Pathetic Little Sockpuppet King Pounding His Keyboard and Sundry Bunny Parts

"A sockpuppet is an online identity used for purposes of deception within an online community. In its earliest usage, a sockpuppet was a false identity through which a member of an Internet community speaks with or about himself or herself, pretending to be a different person, like a ventriloquist manipulating a hand puppet.

In current usage, the perception of the term has been extended beyond second identities of people who already post in a forum or blog to include other uses of misleading online identities. For example, a New York Times article claims that "sockpuppeting" is defined as "the act of creating a fake online identity to praise, defend or create the illusion of support for one's self, allies or company."  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sockpuppet_(Internet)

The horrifying fact that we must all face is, that the rodent sock-puppets and their accomplices are coming, and if we don't take swift action to forestall this disaster, we are all going to die an agonizing death followed by an inadequate burial in rodent feces.

I have read some of Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified)'s writings. While I disagree with much of their content, I do not intend to attack Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified)'s opinions, only to offer my own viewpoints. For the sake of review, we must create a world in which obstructionism, demagogism, and prætorianism are all but forgotten. If we don't, future generations will not know freedom. Instead, they will know fear; they will know sadness; they will know injustice, poverty, and grinding despair. Most of all, they will realize, albeit far too late, that if Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) bites me I will bite back.

Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) keeps missing my point. More specifically, he keeps getting hung up on my words without seeing the underlying meaning. For example, when I say that Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) should be responsible for his own actions, Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) seems incapable of realizing that what I'm really getting at is that it has been said that his caustic, contemptible crotchets are a carcinogen that has been eating away at (what was formerly)  our society and eventually will kill us all. I, in turn, contend that my cause is to illustrate the virtues that he lacks—courage, truthfulness, courtesy, honesty, diligence, chivalry, loyalty, and industry. I call upon men and women from all walks of life to support my cause with their life-affirming eloquence and indomitable spirit of human decency and moral righteousness. Only then will the whole world realize that society must soon decide either to encourage open, civic engagement or else to let Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) abandon us on a desert island.

The decision is one of life or death, peaceful existence or perpetual social fever. I can hope only that those in charge realize that when a mistake is made, the smart thing to do is to admit it and reverse course. That takes real courage. The way that Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) stubbornly refuses to own up to his mistakes serves only to convince me that he doesn't want us to bring important information about his maladroit declamations into the limelight. He wants us to behave like sheep, not showing any inclination to saunter off in a direction other than that in which the shepherd ( Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified)) wants us to go. Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) intends to keep us sheep blissfully ignorant of the fact that even when he isn't lying, Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) is using facts, emphasizing facts, bearing down on facts, sliding off facts, quietly ignoring facts, and, above all, interpreting facts in a way that will enable him to popularize a genre of music whose graphic lyrics explicitly urge pouty peculators to impose ideology, control thought, and punish virtually any behavior he disapproves of.

Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) makes up for his lack of wit by shouting like a Vogon. It may be more correct, however, to say that I strive to be consistent in my arguments. I can't say that I'm 100% true to this, but Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified)'s frequent  vacillating leads me to believe that I am intellectually honest enough to admit my own previous ignorance in that matter. I wish only that he had the same intellectual honesty. A central fault line runs through each of Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified)'s hijinks. Specifically, we have a dilemma of leviathan proportions on our hands: Should we disabuse Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) of the notion that the world can be happy only when his lynch mob is given full rein, or is it sufficient to mention a bit about contumacious vandals such as Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified)? Although I haven't yet been able to concoct an acceptable answer to that question, I can suggest a tentative hypothesis. My hypothesis is that many people think of Commander Bunny's unmannerly scribblings as a joke, as something only half-serious. In fact, they're deadly serious. They're the tool by which empty-headed nymphomaniacs will stultify art and retard the enjoyment and adoration of the beautiful before long. A second all-too-serious item is that Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) has been making a ham-handed effort to show that his faith in metagrobolism gives him an uncanny ability to detect astral energy and cosmic vibrations. I'm guessing that most people are starting to realize that such claims are a distortion of the truth and that we desperately need to combat these lies by tackling the multinational death machine that Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) is currently constructing.

Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) is always prating about how he has answers to everything. (He used to say that the rules don't apply to him, but the evidence is too contrary so he's given up on that score.) If we foreground the cognitive and emotional palette of his saturnine viewpoints rather than their pathology we can enter vitally into Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified)'s world. Why do we want to do that? Because when Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified)'s reckless, sexist utterances are translated into plain, words-mean-things English, he appears to be saying that he is clean and bright and pure inside.

For me, this small-minded moonshine serves only to emphasize how by allowing Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) to give rise to brown-nosing fast-buck artists we are selling our souls for dross. Instead, we should be striving to prescribe a course of action and encourage others to do the same.

Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) is not as stentorian or abusive as you might think. He's more so. He has occasionally been successful at shattering other people's lives and dreams. Upon such points his natural character always exhibits itself most determinedly as he further strives to evade responsibility.
Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified)'s use of the most disorderly ochlocrats you'll ever see is really pathetic. His helpers probably don't realize that because it's not mentioned in the funny papers or in the movies. Nevertheless, my goal is to wage war on sock-puppet gang-bangers. I might not be successful at achieving that goal, but I unequivocally do have to try. Now, I don't mean for that to sound pessimistic, although I, not being one of the many beer-guzzling crackpots of this world, challenge Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) to point out any text in this letter that proposes that his positions are Right with a capital R. It isn't there. There's neither a hint nor a suggestion of such a thing. You don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: When one examines the ramifications of letting him drag men out of their beds in the dead of night and castrate them, one finds a preponderance of evidence leading to the conclusion that he spouts the same bile in everything he writes, making only slight modifications to suit the issue at hand. The issue Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) is excited about this week is boosterism, which says to me that an armed revolt against him is morally justified.

I hate it when people get their facts absolutely wrong. For instance, whenever I hear some corporate fat cat make noises about how it is oligophrenic to question Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified)'s perversions, I can't help but think that I wish I knew when Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) was planning on unleashing his next volley of supercilious views. Alas, I'm no Nostradamus. Nevertheless, some of my predictions have come true in spades. For instance, I predicted ages ago that Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) would reduce history to an overdetermined, wireframe sketch of what are, in reality, complex, dynamic events, and look what happened. Even scarier, I predicted that Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) would corrupt our youth. Although most people doubted that prediction when I made it, they neglected to consider that Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) must have some sort of problem with reading comprehension. That's the only explanation I can come up with as to why Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) accuses me of admitting that black is white and night is day. What I actually said is that I, speaking as someone who is not a primitive mythomaniac, want to speak in the strongest possible terms against Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified)'s tracts.

What's my problem, then? Allow me to present it in the form of a question: Why can't we all just get along? To rephrase that question, what does Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) hope to achieve by repeatedly applying his lips to the posteriors of the worst types of disloyal tricksters I've ever seen? Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) keeps telling everyone within earshot that a book of his writings would be a good addition to the Bible. I'm guessing that Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) read that on some Web site of dubious validity. More reliable sources generally indicate that he has been known to say that ethnocentrism is a wonderful thing. That notion is so impulsive, I hardly know where to begin refuting it.

Termagant slumlords like Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) are all alike. So don't feed me any phony baloney about how everyone and everything discriminates against him—including the writing on the bathroom stalls. That's just not true. I've repeatedly pointed out to him that he and others of his ilk are symbols of Pecksniffian teetotalism. That apparently didn't register with him, though. Oh, well; I guess Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) maintains a "Big Brother" dossier of information about everyone he distrusts, to use as a potential weapon.

Is your name listed in that dossier?

The most appealing theory has to do with the way that Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) wants to prohibit any discussion of his attempts to seek temporary tactical alliances with the worst classes of barbaric skinheads there are in order to overthrow all concepts of beauty and sublimity, of the noble and the good, and instead drag people down into the sphere of his own base nature. While it is clear why he wants that to be a taboo subject, I don't know what makes Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) think that he can change his rotten ways. Maybe he's been sipping cuckoo juice.

The fact of the matter is that Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) is terrified that there might be an absolute reality outside himself, a reality that is what it is, regardless of his wishes, theories, hopes, daydreams, or decrees.

I feel funny having to tell readers whom I presume are adults that Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified)'s buddies mistakenly associate "lengthy" with "accurate" when it comes to his credos. I bring that up solely to emphasize that he says that it's okay to make us the helpless puppets of our demographic labels. This is noxious falsehood. The truth is that the ultimate aim of his activities is to restructure (what was formerly our) society as a pyramid with Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) at the top, Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified)'s lieutenants directly underneath, sinister rubes beneath them, and the rest of us at the bottom. This new societal structure will enable Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) to subvert our country's legal system, which makes me realize that my goal is to get him to realize that whenever he encounters a free-thinking individual who presents factual data that conflicts with his beliefs, Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) doesn't know what to do. Of course, if Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) insists on remaining an ignorant, uninformed, and ill-informed litterbug, that's his prerogative. If I may be so bold, Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) has so frequently lied about how his anecdotes will spread enlightenment to the masses, nurture democracy,

reestablish the bonds of community, bring us closer to God, and generally work to the betterment of Man and society that some weaker-minded people are starting to believe it. We need to explain to such people that we are a nation of prostitutes. By this I mean that as long as we are fat, warm, and dry we don't care what Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) does. It is precisely that lack of caring that

explains why Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified) wants nothing other than absolute ideological and moral lockdown. It is no more complicated than that. In short, Commander Bunny, Kracker, Beans, Thumper, Mosby, Bouncer (& sundry other sock-puppets not yet fully identified)'s repressive solutions have done much to condemn innocent people to death. I propose, therefore, that we respond by doing what we can to give the needy a helping hand as opposed to an elbow in the face.



(P.S. Kracker:  I know you're not really one of the sock-puppets, but I didn't want you to feel left out!  Yeah, that's just me, always thinking of others...)

((Inspired by yet another FRN 'sock-puppet ball' thread turned ugly.  Originally created in April, but left unpublished until now.  Updated a bit, so we have a mix of the old sockpuppets, and the new sockpuppets...This was, of course, mostly written by a "Complaint letter generator", but so much of the verbiage seemed to apply so directly to the behavior of Commander Bunny/aka Pat Murphy/ aka Jerry Michael Graves, or with only minor changes, that I could not resist using it! ~ JPoet))